Our Surrogacy in Hawai'i - Part 8

Hey there friends,

Oh my goodness, I cannot believe we are past 30 weeks now! We are in the third trimester - last stretch! Wow. Thank you again for the outpouring of love and support. It’s fun to share this journey and we hope it continues to educate, inspire, bring hope, and build awareness.

A question I have been asked several times is, “Will you be attached to the baby?” I love this question because it’s not something I ever really thought about until people started asking. For me, the whole process and relationship has been crystal clear from the very beginning. But for those of you wondering and trying to understand, I did a video recording to better explain. Hope this helps to clarify my perspective as the surrogate momma carrying another couple’s baby for 9 months:

Another question I get asked is, “What does Brad think about all this?” And similarly, I have had conversations with friends that say they would totally be a surrogate, but that their husbands would never be okay with it. I find that aspect interesting because obviously Brad is okay with it, so we did this recording to capture his side of the story. I love him so much. His heart and leadership of our family blows my mind and I am constantly humbled to be his wife. He brings so much more to this surrogacy experience and he blesses me everyday.

And of course, you all want to know what our daughters think of the situation. To be honest, they were one of my biggest concerns going into this experience. I wondered what they would think, how they would react to the news, and if they would understand the baby was not ours. The counsellors at CSP are so good and have much experience and wisdom to offer on this topic and totally helped to address all of my concerns. Sure enough, they were right. When we told the girls, they absolutely understand the concept and are so happy that our family gets to support and serve another family in this way. We captured a bit of their thoughts here on video to share. I think they do both want a baby brother or sister at some stage (what child doesn’t want one - babies are CUTE), but we have explained that we will have that conversation in a couple years.

One thing I’ve realized in a BIG way through this experience is that only women that have “easy” pregnancies could really consider serving another family in this way. I don’t love being pregnant, but it’s easy for me. Kind of like how I don’t LOVE running half marathons, but I’ve done three of them. Pregnancy/ childbirth is like a half marathon. You prepare for it and pray for the best conditions on race day. If the journey was miserable, I feel like you would resent the process and potentially resent the baby and IPs. You must come from a place of love and service and ease. Because pregnancy and childbirth has been a blessing for me, I can enjoy this experience and the purpose behind it. So for all you mommas out there not in the same boat, I get it - you would never do this (nor would you likely pass the medical or psychological screening in the application process). Lol.

In the next post, I share some thoughts on the financial cost of the surrogacy journey and what it’s been like working with an agency.

Thanks for joining us on the journey.




#surrogacy #pregnancy

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