So up to this stage in the pregnancy, the girls hadn’t really noticed my growing belly. But around 21 weeks, Maia did make three separate comments like, “Oh wow, look at your big belly - are you pregnant or something?” Lol. I just didn’t really answer her and told Brad it’s time to think about telling them. The reason we did not tell them until after the amniocentesis results were back is because if anything happened with the pregnancy, we didn’t want to have a conversation about termination or miscarriage (because this decision is 100% up to the IPs). But now that all looked great, it was time.
Leading up to this moment, we had already been having conversations for months about the various ways to have a baby. And hello - I’m a birth and postpartum doula. Our girls are very familiar with the notion of birth and pregnancy. Even prior to our transfer in February, Maia and I had a conversation about some mommies’ tummies not being able to carry and grow babies, so they can get help from other mommies to have a baby.
We had spent about 6 months weaving this concept into conversation, so they were prepared. My dear friend and doula colleague, Katja, also loaned me a book on how babies are made. We were all snuggling in bed together, I read them the book, and then I told them that mommy had a friend in LA (who they actually met at dinner when we were there in November) that couldn’t easily grow babies in her tummy. So I was going to help them, and there is a baby girl in my belly and she would be here in 4 months.
It’s remarkable how much they both understood the concept, were happy for the family, and looking forward to meeting the baby! What fun - Brad and I were relieved. We asked if they had questions and explained that this was Momma’s news to tell other people and they needed to keep it to themselves. They both see this as another “doula” service that mommy is providing for another family. It’s a familiar concept and they are excited to see the new baby in November. I love that they are part of the journey now. One of the visions we have for our family is serving others, so we are using this as a teaching moment for them. Our family is supporting and serving the other family by helping them add a sibling. We told them at 22 weeks and so far they have been pretty good about keeping the news under wraps.
Other second trimester updates and fun facts:
I am now officially living in my maternity wardrobe. Part of my contract includes a maternity clothes allowance, so I purchased items online and borrowed some from a friend. As with both girls, my belly went through a “pop” or growth spurt right at 24 weeks. Now I look the part. Although, the funny part is that several people still don’t know the news and haven’t said anything. Lol. We’ve decided that 27 weeks/ 6 months is a good time to make the news public. I have appreciated my close friends and colleagues that have prayed for, encouraged and supported us on this intimate journey so far. We love you so much.
Another part of my contract is that I cannot fly out of state after 24 weeks, so I’m “grounded” on O’ahu from now on. This means, no doTERRA conference for me in September. While I’m bummed to miss this event, I’ll watch the livestream and get all the updates from those that will be there.
My husband, as always, is amazing. He lets me rest when I want and generally does lots around the house. This is no different to his usual, but I just notice it extra during pregnancy. Love you, Bradley.
Many of my friends ask me if I get paid to do this. Yes, absolutely. For those of you that are curious about surrogacy compensation, I invite you to check out the CSP agency website for all that information. There is also a stipend for expenses like house cleaning, massages, chiropractic, pedicures, childcare for appointments, etc. We do get looked after on the journey, which I love. I’ll tell you more about my pregnancy self-care in the next post.
I’m curious how many of my friends suspected I was pregnant, but just didn’t say anything. Lol.